Appeal Accepted!

The financial aid office approved my appeal! So much has happened with financing in the last few months and I feel like I've been on a roller coaster ride. However unless something else happens, I should now have all the financing I need to complete my program. Woohoo!!!

End of My Assistantship

I have a lot of studying to do, but I want to post an update of two things:

1. I turned in my appeal and supporting documentation to the financial aid office on Monday. It takes about 5 days for them to make a decision. So I am waiting.

2. In a previous post, I mentioned that the last day of my assistantship/job was coming up soon and my Graduate Advisor had not given any indication that he was going to give me a going away lunch. This bothered me because he had given a going away lunch for another student. So, last Thursday, the day before my last day, I went into his office to talk with him and this is how our conversation went:

Me: So, tomorrow is my last day here.

Grad Advisor: Tomorrow? Already? Oh...I wasn't keeping track...

Me: Yes, well...tomorrow is my last day. So I just wanted to tell you that I will have to come in over the weekend to clear out my desk because I've been too busy to do it before my last day.

Grad Advisor: Uh...well...you don't have to rush. You can take your time. The only thing that has changed is that I don't have money to provide an assistantship for you, but...but you don't have to go.

Me: Ummm (I was stunned, could not think of anything to say to him).

Grad Advisor: I hope you won't forget about us. You are going to come by to visit us aren't you?

Me: Of course. You are still the chair of my supervisory committee. That will not change.


So, he did not plan a going away lunch for me because he was in denial that I was leaving. I have done good work for him and we have had a pretty good advisor-grad student relationship, so I did not understand why I wasn't getting a lunch send-off.

Well...it's his fault that I'm not there anymore. He was depending on only one grant to staff his office. What faculty/researcher in their right mind would have only one grant in place to run and staff their office and lab?

Sad Thoughts and Friends

Friday is my last day at work. My assistantship is ending because my advisor lost his funding. About a month ago he took everyone in the office out to lunch as a goodbye lunch for another student who had recently graduated and was leaving for another position. I am now leaving for another position and so far he hasn't said a word about taking me for a goodbye lunch. Perhaps it could be argued that he is waiting until the last minute to say something, but I don't think so. For the recently graduated student, he sent an email around with the lunch invitation almost 2 weeks before the event. I think that he is not going to take me to lunch. My last day will or would have come and gone as if it were any other day. How sad...I've been there for over 2.5 years.

During the time that I have been working in the office, everyone's birthday has been celebrated. Except mine. The assistant director of the office would always make sure that cake was purchased, cards made/purchased and signed by everyone. But not for me. I don't know why.

One of my co-worker's/friend has noticed the slight and commented on it. So on Friday, even though it is not my birthday, we are going to celebrate my birthday. We are going out and everyone in the office has been invited except for the assistant director (who is no longer in our office due to the funding cut) and my advisor. K is a good friend.

The Semester is Over!!!

I am finished with everything for this semester!!! It turned out that I had three colloquium synopses to write rather than only two. But, I just finished them and everything is now done. This semester is over and done! Woohoo!!!!!

End of Semester Updated List

I am posting another list up here to help me keep everything straight. My good friend Makita pointed out to me that on my previous list some of the days and dates did not correlate. Just to complicate things, some of the dates for the finals have been changed and a quiz has been added to my list. What a mess. I am keeping the things that I have already completed on the list because I want to feel like I have accomplished something. So, my updated list is as follows:

1. Colloquium synopsis due Wed. 4/8 (not done, no way in hell...)- done!!!
2. Agricultural Law exam taken on Thurs. 4/9
3. Pesticides paper due Fri. 4/10 - completed (it sucked, but it's done)
4. Pesticides mini-exam taken on Fri. 4/10 (no time to study for it - bombed it)
5. File the too many credits appeal Mon. 4/13 (delayed - financial aid office said it may not be necessary to file)
6. Meet with Soils professor to go over data for presentation and paper on Tues. 10:30 (done...I now have a 2cm stack of SAS printout that I have to analyze, make conclusions from, make tables and charts, get into a PowerPoint to present on Thur. morning at 10:00am...Heaven help me)
7. Another Colloquium synopsis due Wed. 4/15 (no way in hell..)- done!!!
8. Plant Herbicides take-home quiz due Wed. 4/15 - completed on 4/13!!!
9. Soils presentation on Thurs. 4/16 - done!
10. Pesticides exam on Fri. 4/17 - done!
11. Plant Herbicides paper due on Fri. 4/17 by 5:00 pm - done!
12. Soils paper due on Tues. 4/21 - done!
13. Agricultural Law final on Tues. 4/21, 10:40-11:25 - done!
14. Plant Herbicides final on Wed. 4/22, 8:00 - 9:30 - done!!
15. Pesticides comprehensive final on Mon. 4/27, 12:50-2:50 - done!!!
16. Soils comprehensive final on Tues. 4/28, 10:00-12:00 - done!!!!

I do not know yet whether I will have an assistantship for the rest of my time in this program. I don't even have the time to deal with it.

Life is great when you can have the time to breathe.

Too Much To Do

The semester is going to be over soon and I have a lot of stuff that is going to be due very soon. There is so much that I can barely keep track of it all, so I am going to list it all here.

1. Colloquium synopsis due Wed. 4/7 (no way in hell is this going to get done on time)
2. Agricultural Law exam Thurs. 4/8
3. Pesticides paper due Fri. 4/9
4. Pesticides mini-exam Fri. 4/9
5. File the too many credits appeal Mon. 4/13
6. Another Colloquium synopsis due Wed. 4/15 (no way in hell...)
7. Soils presentation on Thurs. 4/16
8. Plant Herbicides paper due Fri. 4/17
9. Pesticides mini-exam Fri. 4/17
10. Soils paper due Tues. 4/21
11. Agricultural Law Final Tues. 4/21, 10:40-11:25
12. Soils Final Tues. 4/28, 10:00-12:00
13. Pesticides Final Wed. 4/29, 7:30-9:30
14. Plant Herbicides Final Wed. 4/29, 12:30-2:30

I also have to find the time somehow to work at my two jobs. I am still in the process of trying to get an assistantship. My 3 papers will total approximately 8000 words. I thought about posting my progress meter up here, but I don't want to take the time to do it. I feel so swamped.

Life is great when...when...one is alive to feel swamped.

Good News!

I was approved for the U.S. Department of Education Graduate Plus Loan! A requirement for the Grad Plus Loan is a good credit record. I have traveled a hard road to get to where I am right now and as a result my credit is not exactly stellar. And yet I got the loan!!! I was very concerned about what my options might be if I did not get it. Any option that I could think of involved working full-time and taking my remaining internship credits over a longer period of time. As of yet, I do not have an assistantship offer, but I have had a few job offers. Now, I don't need to accept them. I don't even need an assistantship. I could theoretically just keep my one new 10 hour a week job, take all the credits I need during my remaining two semesters and then I can graduate in December 2009. I feel like a 16 ton block of concrete has rolled off my back.

Life is great when something good finally happens.

A Decison Has Been Made

I have decided that I am not going to take the first Big Program Final on March 24. It was a difficult decision to make, but I just cannot take such an important final when I have so much going on in my life that I can barely study. I actually have a list of things to justify my decision. Some of these things are as follows:

1. I received confirmation about two weeks ago that my graduate advisor does not have enough money to continue funding my assistantship after the end of the spring semester. So I have been looking for either another assistantship or a job. I found another part-time job and I started it this week. The employer could not wait until the end of my assistantship for me to begin the new job. I was reluctant to add an additional thing to my already too hectic schedule, but I had to be sure that I did not end up without an income after my assistantship has ended, so I accepted the position. So, in addition to the work I do for my assistantship and my 13 credits of courses, I now have another job. After my assistantship has ended, this part-time one will not be enough. I am continuing the job hunt.

2. I have more than 120 credits which according to the university is too many. They will not allow me to continue receiving financial aid after the end of the spring semester. So I have to appeal. I have some work to do with this one.

3. Since it is likely that I will not have an assistantship for the summer semester, I am going to apply for a graduate supplemental retention award. This award will pay for up to 6 credits per semester for the last 3 semesters. I've got the paperwork; have to make the time somehow to fill it out and turn it in by next week.

4. I am having a couple of health issues which are taking up way too much of my time. The graduate students insurance has a prescription drug capitation limit of $2000. So, they are no longer paying for my asthma medicines. I spent about 5 hours last week dealing with the paperwork to apply to a patient assistant program. Unfortunately, there appears to be a slight glitch in the system and I am not going to get the medicines for at least a month. Since I can't wait that long, I'm now searching for other options.

Am I justified in my decision to not take the final on March 24? Yes, absolutely! Hopefully I can get my life in order and stabilized soon.

I will take the first Big Program Final on Tuesday, June 23 and the second one on Friday, June 26.

Life is great when one can finally make a difficult decision.

My Challenge For This Semester

My first Big Program Final is just 43 days away and I do not have the time to study for it. I am studying for 16 credits plus trying to study for the Final and I am not able to do it all. I don't know why I thought I could. I thought that I was strong and energetic enough, but I am not. I have just lost 4 days of study due to a migraine. Even without the migraine, the time I would have had was not enough.

My days (Monday through Friday) go something like this: drag myself out of bed at 6:30 am, go to class, go to work right after class, eat lunch while working, go to class, go back to work, go to another class, and finally home for dinner. I fall asleep while my husband makes dinner, then stumble to the table to eat, then back to campus to our Program Study Room to study for the assignments, quizzes or tests that are due the next day, until about 12:30 or 1:00 am. Then I go home, but it takes about 1.5 hours to unwind enough to go to sleep. After about 4 hours of sleep, I have to drag myself out of bed and start all over again. All this is just for my 16 credits. There is no time left to study for the Big Program Final. On the weekends, I can't get out of bed until about 11:30 am. Then I have to continue studying for the assignments that are due at the beginning of the week.

I am also suppose to be looking for a job because my assistantship will end at the end of April, but I don't have the time to look. I have bitten off more than I can chew. The question now is what am I going to do about it? Is it hopeless to continue at this pace and continue with my plan to take the Big Program Final on March 24? I do have Spring Break to study for it, but I don't think 1 week is enough. It would be devastating to fail the Final. If I don't take it this semester, I will have to take 2 of the Big Program Finals in the same semester and they will be only 2 days apart. I don't know what I am going to do.

Planning For A New Year

In yesterdays post, I said that I hope that 2009 is a better year than 2008 was. Well, I am going to have to take action in order for 2009 to be better for me. Last year, Congress made some changes to the Farm Bill which caused all funding to be frozen until new proposals were submitted. The funds for my assistantship came a farm bill grant. My major professor is working on a new proposal and it will be submitted soon, but there is no guarantee that it will be approved or that there will be funding for an assistantship for me after April. In addition, I am going to reach the maximum of $138,500 for the U.S. Department of Education Direct Student Loan in May.

To have 2 sources of funding for me end at almost the same time has me very concerned. I didn't expect to ever reach the U.S. Dept. of Ed. maximum. It's shocking to me that I have. I went to a very expensive private school for my undergrad. Although I went to a public university for my masters degree, I really should have graduated sooner that I did. Now here I am working on my doctorate and almost out of funds.

I have to apply for the Graduate Plus Loan, however I am not sure that I will qualify for it. That loan requires that one has a good credit and due to the long hard road that I have traveled, my credit is not so good. But I have to apply anyway.

The actions that I take to make 2009 better for me will in part depend on whether my assistantship gets renewed and whether I get approved for the loan. But there are some other things I have to do as well. I will write about them in a future post.

Crunch Time

I met with my supervisory committee today. It was decided that due to various funding issues that I will need to graduate in December 2009. I have three semesters left to take all of my remaining courses and internships. In my program of study, we have to take four big finals; three written exams and one oral defense. The written exams are taken on separate days and each one lasts approximately 9 hours. In the summer of 2009, I will take the Entomology/Nematology final and the Plant/Soil Science final. In the fall of 2009, I will take the Plant Pathology final and do my oral defense. This will not be easy, but I have to do it.

A Problem

It feels like the obstacles are mounting. I knew it wouldn't be easy in this doctoral program, but I took a risk and here I am. I am in my third year and was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the funding for my assistantship has been eliminated. My major professor has scraped enough money together to keep me until the end of the spring semester. He said there is no hope of getting more money in time to keep my assistantship from ending.

The program that I am in does not require a dissertation. We take 90 credits of classes and 30 credits of internships. I do not have a research project that will be interrupted or not funded. I just put in several hours of work every week doing whatever my boss (major professor) wants me to do. I would love to not have to work those hours, but I can't afford to be without a stipend. So, I have already started looking for another assistantship, but everyone that I've talked to so far only has M.S. assistantships to offer. I already have an M.S.; I don't need another one.

So, this is just one obstacle out of several that I am dealing with. Maybe I'll write about the others another time.