...to calm down. She came into the lab this morning in a panic, saying that we needed to spend $50,000 by June 30. She told me to stop what I was doing (my data analysis) and start ordering stuff immediately. She started shrieking and circling the lab bench and saying that today, right now, I had to order a laptop, a water shaker incubator, a refrigerator, 5 cases of petri dishes, and whatever else I could think of.
I am having some problems with high blood pressure because of all of the stress I am experiencing due to stuff like this. Every day there's a crisis over something. So, this morning I took a deep breath and told her to calm down, have a seat, let's do the math, we've already spent a lot of money, I don't think its $50,000. I got out our budget and went over it with her. As it turned out the amount that we had remaining to spend was $6000. So she calmed down and then went off to her other lab. And I was left to deal with trying to calm myself down.
I shouldn't be doing the ordering at all. I am suppose to be doing my research 100% of the time. But she asked me to take on most of the lab management duties because the person that she hired to do that isn't fit for the job. So, now I'm practically doing the work of two people. I work every day. Monday to Friday, I work about 10.5 hrs a day and on weekends I work about 6 hrs a day. I don't take breaks and I don't get paid for overtime.
I need to get out of this job. A person can only handle stuff like this for so long. One post-doc in the lab is leaving after only having worked for a few months and another one that hasn't been in the lab very long is actively searching for another position. I wish I had the time and energy to conduct a job search, but I don't. I feel stuck.
This experience hasn't turned me against doing scientific research. I love science and I love doing research. I just need to be doing it somewhere else. It will be very interesting to see what the future brings for me.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I'm Still Around
It has been a long time since my last post. I have been super busy and have been doing some traveling for my job. I enjoy the traveling; it seems to help reduce the stress of being in the lab. However, either my job is not as stressful as it was or I am learning to handle the stress better. I have been doing yoga, so maybe that's helping.
A major reason that I haven't been posting here is that I don't have access to a computer at home. Notice I didn't write that there is no computer at home. There is one at home, but it belongs to my husband and he is always using it. I can now afford to get a laptop, so I'm starting to look for one.
I'm still at my post doc position. I haven't applied for any jobs in the last several months, but I'm going to have to start looking again. I stopped looking for several reasons: I got too busy with my post doc job, I got tired of fighting for the computer at home, and I just got tired of looking for a job.
I have things on my list that I would like to blog about, so I hope I can find a laptop soon. Thank you for continuing to visit my blog even though I haven't been posting.
A major reason that I haven't been posting here is that I don't have access to a computer at home. Notice I didn't write that there is no computer at home. There is one at home, but it belongs to my husband and he is always using it. I can now afford to get a laptop, so I'm starting to look for one.
I'm still at my post doc position. I haven't applied for any jobs in the last several months, but I'm going to have to start looking again. I stopped looking for several reasons: I got too busy with my post doc job, I got tired of fighting for the computer at home, and I just got tired of looking for a job.
I have things on my list that I would like to blog about, so I hope I can find a laptop soon. Thank you for continuing to visit my blog even though I haven't been posting.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A Gift from a Bird
My job is so stressful that I have been thinking about ways to decrease my stress, especially at work. Today I had lunch in my car. I parked it at the end of the parking lot facing a grassy lawn area with pine and oak trees. It was quiet and peaceful; nevermind that the grass was brown because it's dormant.
As I sat there eating my lunch, I remembered another time long ago, that my sister, my niece (who was a toddler then), and I had a picnic at a park. It was a beautiful Southern California summer day. We spread a blanket out on the grass, got down, and started to eat. We were soon joined by birds; maybe about 6 of them. They wanted some food of course.
I've never thought it was a good idea to give human food to wildlife, but on that day, I threw them some crumbs from the biscuit that I was eating. There was one bird in particular that seemed like it was looking at me a lot. I decided I would see how close the bird would get to me, so I put a crumb not too far from where I was sitting; maybe about 1 meter away. The bird hopped closer and took the crumb. I kept decreasing the distance between me and the food, and within 5 min that bird was eating out of my hand!
A few more crumbs and that sweet little bird had its fill. It looked at me and flew off. A few minutes later it came back, landed very close to me and dropped something on the grass right next to me. It looked at me again and then flew off for the last time. I looked down at what was laying on the grass. I picked it up. It was a piece of pink yarn; about 6 cm in length. It was in perfect condition; it wasn't frayed or anything. What a gift! And from a wild bird! Wow!
I kept that piece of yarn for a long time. I wonder what happened to it...
As I sat there eating my lunch, I remembered another time long ago, that my sister, my niece (who was a toddler then), and I had a picnic at a park. It was a beautiful Southern California summer day. We spread a blanket out on the grass, got down, and started to eat. We were soon joined by birds; maybe about 6 of them. They wanted some food of course.
I've never thought it was a good idea to give human food to wildlife, but on that day, I threw them some crumbs from the biscuit that I was eating. There was one bird in particular that seemed like it was looking at me a lot. I decided I would see how close the bird would get to me, so I put a crumb not too far from where I was sitting; maybe about 1 meter away. The bird hopped closer and took the crumb. I kept decreasing the distance between me and the food, and within 5 min that bird was eating out of my hand!
A few more crumbs and that sweet little bird had its fill. It looked at me and flew off. A few minutes later it came back, landed very close to me and dropped something on the grass right next to me. It looked at me again and then flew off for the last time. I looked down at what was laying on the grass. I picked it up. It was a piece of pink yarn; about 6 cm in length. It was in perfect condition; it wasn't frayed or anything. What a gift! And from a wild bird! Wow!
I kept that piece of yarn for a long time. I wonder what happened to it...
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Job Search Continues
My former co-worker got the job, so my search will continue, just not today or this week because I am too busy in my current job to even get much sleep.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Resolution and The Interview
I am working my way towards accomplishing my New Year's Resolution. I knew that I would not be able to all of a sudden start going to bed at 11:30, so I have been gradually going to bed earlier and earlier. I think I will be successful with this resolution.
I still haven't heard anything about the job that I interviewed for, but I think I will not be selected for the position. This is not negative thinking; this is realistic thinking. I am basing my realistic thinking on several things, most of which involve the fact that I was not at my best or even close to my best on the day of the interview. It wasn't just an off day for me; it was a stressful day following many previous stressful days and weeks. Things that were causing me stress on the day of the interview are as follows:
1. I had just started a new job and it was/is a very stressful job. The PI is a self-acknowledged Drama Queen and so our lab is either always in crisis or recovering from a crisis.
2. There was a lab crisis on the morning of my job interview that I had to deal with before the interview. I dealt with it, but my blood pressure shot way up and I could not get it down.
3. The interviews for most of these positions are phone interviews and so I had a phone call to make. I had planned to make the call from the lab using the lab phone, but I knew that if I did, my phone interview would be interrupted by the recovery from the morning crisis. So just an hour before the interview was scheduled I had to find another place to make the call from. I didn't have enough minutes on my cell and I couldn't afford to get minutes, so using my cell was not an option. So, I did the only thing I could think of which was to go to the office that I used to work in when I was on my graduate assistantship. But I didn't have the car that day, so I ran there even though my blood pressure was sky high.
4. I had just had surgery a few days before the interview and unfortunately, I was having some complications and some pain. Running did not help.
5. I knew one of the other applicants was for the position. He was a co-worker in the same department at the job that I just left. There we were working together and didn't even know that we were both applying for the same job. His phone interview was scheduled the same morning just before mine. I found this out 4 days before the interview. And he has 30 years of experience in the field and I in comparison as a recent graduate had very little experience. I had considered canceling my interview, but decided to go through with it because I didn't want to give up.
So I was a mess during my phone interview and it affected my ability to do well. I did not feel confident during my conversation with the interviewers knowing that they had just interviewed someone that is an awesome person and is superbly skilled in the field.
So that's the way it was and that is why I believe I will not get that job.
I still haven't heard anything about the job that I interviewed for, but I think I will not be selected for the position. This is not negative thinking; this is realistic thinking. I am basing my realistic thinking on several things, most of which involve the fact that I was not at my best or even close to my best on the day of the interview. It wasn't just an off day for me; it was a stressful day following many previous stressful days and weeks. Things that were causing me stress on the day of the interview are as follows:
1. I had just started a new job and it was/is a very stressful job. The PI is a self-acknowledged Drama Queen and so our lab is either always in crisis or recovering from a crisis.
2. There was a lab crisis on the morning of my job interview that I had to deal with before the interview. I dealt with it, but my blood pressure shot way up and I could not get it down.
3. The interviews for most of these positions are phone interviews and so I had a phone call to make. I had planned to make the call from the lab using the lab phone, but I knew that if I did, my phone interview would be interrupted by the recovery from the morning crisis. So just an hour before the interview was scheduled I had to find another place to make the call from. I didn't have enough minutes on my cell and I couldn't afford to get minutes, so using my cell was not an option. So, I did the only thing I could think of which was to go to the office that I used to work in when I was on my graduate assistantship. But I didn't have the car that day, so I ran there even though my blood pressure was sky high.
4. I had just had surgery a few days before the interview and unfortunately, I was having some complications and some pain. Running did not help.
5. I knew one of the other applicants was for the position. He was a co-worker in the same department at the job that I just left. There we were working together and didn't even know that we were both applying for the same job. His phone interview was scheduled the same morning just before mine. I found this out 4 days before the interview. And he has 30 years of experience in the field and I in comparison as a recent graduate had very little experience. I had considered canceling my interview, but decided to go through with it because I didn't want to give up.
So I was a mess during my phone interview and it affected my ability to do well. I did not feel confident during my conversation with the interviewers knowing that they had just interviewed someone that is an awesome person and is superbly skilled in the field.
So that's the way it was and that is why I believe I will not get that job.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Happy New Year!
Do you make New Years Resolutions? I haven't made any in a long time because I never keep them. But I made one this year. Usually I stay up until 1:30 in the morning playing facebook games, but I really can't keep doing that because I have to get up at 6:30 am. So my New Year Resolution is to be in bed by 11:30 pm. That will be harder than it sounds because I am a night owl and I just get stuck playing games and it's hard to stop. So, we'll just see how well I do at keeping this resolution. I'll keep you posted.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas!
Presents around our Christmas tree (hey, don't laugh; it was free!).Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have a great Christmas! And if you don't have much, I hope that you can make the best of what you have.
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